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I have been close companions with a woman, a person who's overcome numerous obstacles, her resilience is commendable. However, she has been constantly taken by surprise in relationships. Her husband left her, which came as a huge shock. Several of her friends drifted away at that point, since they had been drawn to him. It shocked her. She put in increased attention toward our bond, and must have realised more acutely what friendship was.

The Pattern of Disappearance

Throughout this period, many in her circle vanished and she isn't knowing the cause. Her last employer turned on her, despite the fact that she had been highly competent, she departed unaware of the reason for the change.

Present Situation

In recent times, we have each left the workforce so we're spending frequent meetups, yet I realize my position between us is to listen. I start subjects but she shifts conversation onto things she cares about. Regarding political views, she has unyielding views. I try to recommend double-checking information and alternate views.

She's been organizing a trip to a country I've visited on several occasions and lived in for a while. I attempted to offer personal experiences, however, my input unappreciated. She really only wanted me to confirm her choices. I've just come back from four weeks in that place and she wants to reconnect, however, I hesitate.

Evaluating the Situation

I don't want to be a friend that walks away abruptly, yet I doubt she will ever grasp the consequences of how she acts on how I feel about myself. Right now, my state is avoidance mode. What's the best step?

Potential Solutions

It's possible to cut and run, but it is seldom the peaceful resolution we imagine. However, addressing it with the goal of a solution demands strength and willingness from both people.

Experts suggest applying a effective method for resolving disputes:

"Step one involves describing what typically happens during your discussions. This needs to be objective and clear and essentially exactly what occurs. Step two involves sharing the way it makes you feel. Ideally, there's no dispute on this point. Your feelings are your feelings, of course. The third step involves requesting how the two of you will alter the pattern between you."

Keep in mind that she also has her own side, so you need to remain ready to hear that. One effective method is to say her:

"Please share your thoughts while I will listen without interrupting for 30 minutes."

It's wildly impactful in fostering mutual respect.

Closing Considerations

She might reject your concerns, since certain individuals hold onto a “survival narrative”: they rely on a narrative regarding their experiences they cannot release because their very survival depends upon it being the only thing they've known. This poses a challenge when there seems no thoroughfare here, just dead ends. But she may initially present like this and then think your perspective. And even if a resolution isn't found a fix, it will give you closure from having been honest with her.